Sometimes, it really really makes me wonder if you are the freaking person in charge of the group or is it another that is older than you? You seem to not know anything and always asks someone else to make the decision for you. Yes, she is older than you but hey, you are supposedly the one holding the 'power' to decide and yet you are not using it and letting her abuse it. Wth is your problem? You are seriously so fail. -.-

Left early today from AWWA to rush for SJ as I feel that I have been missing way too much. Trust me, it's not what I want but I have no choice. I have already signed up for this program, went for the camp, and now this is sort of te last stretch. I can't possibly give this up. Not that I'm saying I'm gonna give the other one up either. Nope, I'm gonna keep clutching on to both with all my might. Giving up is never an option anyways. Right from the start, I kinda knew this was coming ._. so Yupp SABBIE, endure.

Missed out the Christmas party and I hope no one was pissed at me today. Coz in the end, I didn't really contributed much in the planning of the Christmas party (yeah, maybe my 'punishment' was getting hit by a flying snow newspaper ball ._.) and then i was also late for SJ. sighh, and j really need a life. I haven't hung out with my friends for a while. Just slacking at the mall or going Kbox :(

I miss slacking. I miss staring at my hp/comp at home. I miss chatting with friends on the phone during the day. I'm kinda jaded too and am flooded with stuff to do D: after YVIp there's still SJAB camp. Homework homework! LOL. Since when was I ever so concerned about it?

Jaded ttm. Just hoping that the fire inside doesn't get extinguished that soon. All thanks to you.

"Basically I didn’t really interacted with the elderly today. It as wrapping hampers in the morning (zomg, we have to wrap like 300?!? In 2 weeks?!?), decorating the ready care centre in the afternoon and not to forget helping the admin lady with some ‘paperwork’ which actually involved stamping the ‘AWWA- READYCARE CENTRE’ onto some receipts (see how many times I stamped such that I’m even able to remember what I stamped XD) and lastly, wrapping more hampers again! So today, I realized the importance of tem work as during most of the events, it requires all of us to work together as a team in order to accomplish the tasks (hopefully we have attained our target of 90 hampers :X). even for the Christmas decoration, we had to work together as a team (despite one particular guy saying that my feet will stink when I already volunteered to stand on a chair to help hang some Christmas ornaments -.-). For the hampers, division of labor was also essential in order for us to complete such a vast amount of hampers within such a short period of time. Hence, even though I did not directly offer any help to the elderly today, I was working in the background. Doing all the work just to bring those smiles on their faces. So today was fruitful after all" :D

So today was day 2 at AWWA. Let’s start off with my reflections for the day first.

so let's take one step at a time. there's no need to rush. credits: leilockheart.net

Okay, so today’s day 1 at AWWA old folks home. Was pretty neutral when I reached since this was not the first time I have been to an old folks home (rmb the previous time was during class CIP!). so how different would it be huh. Went to meet the person in charge called…? Sorry I really dk as when I reached there, I was already melting -.- coz I was wearing my long jeans (at least knee length pants marh) on a hot day so, you know the consequences. GAWD.

After a brief tour of the place, we were left in some room whereby the elderly was eating their morning snack and we were left to interact with them! My first client (okay, that’s what you are supposed to call the old folks there. Client.) was an old man who was pretty much an introvert. I expected like old folks to talk much more when you ask a question but apparently for this particular man, he will just reply your question with a few words. Wth? Damn difficult to keep the convo going on like this -.- (tsk, kinda reminds me of my stone TF XD) But in the end, after much effort, he had to leave for smt and I went off to find another old woman (no more men as hopefully women were more talkative :P)

This woman was indeed much expressive and even told me her story about her stay here. Haha, but later on during a performance in the afternoon, I kinda realized that I had picked one of the ‘model old folks’ in this home since she was invited up to talk about her stay at AWWA to the other residents living near AWWA. So, kinda no surprise lol.

However, the following few old folks I talked to totally gave a whole new perspective to the old folks home. they hated that place ttm. they told me how much they wanted to get out of here. how they wanted to die. Sigh, it was kinda saddening yet frightening? Coz it makes you wonder about your future and you will start feeling a little insecure. What if I end up like that? will I end up like that? and if I end up like that? sigh, stupid sense of insecurity.

At the end of the day, we were supposed to do a reflection and here’s mine:

"Today, I learnt that the old folks home might not be that an enjoyable place for some old folks. Yes, there are some who truly enjoy their stay here. However, there are also some who really have no choice (due to the lack of a next-of-kin) and feel resigned after they enter this place. And I have spoken to these 2 types of people today, making me able to view this place in 2 totally opposite perspectives. I can’t determine if this place is completely heavenly or hellish, but what I realize is that it really depends on how these elderly view their stay here. Hence, this really proves the point about how two people may be in the same predicament but yet, they might surprisingly have different emotions, make different choices, and execute different moves. And the elderly here are no different."

So yeah, this quote suddenly popped into my mind. SINK or SWIM. It’s YOUR choice. But no matter what, life is a road that we’ve have to keep going.

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i love life. i will never take you for granted anymore. credits: leilockheart.net

Alright, looks like the thing about me winning my dear in the number of posts I have by the end of this year is gonna fail. :X haven’t been blogging for almost a week! Sigh. And it’s not like I’m mugging or anything. My pile of homework is still there, barely touched. have been slacking around since after the camp? Okay, more like going out to just shop? And for the next two weeks, everyday, every weekday to be more exact) I will have to go AWWA, which is basically some old folks home, to go do CIP. From 9 to 5. Haha, so yupp, gonna experience the life of a working adult (reminds me of SMP, sitting at starbucks and not to forget freezing :X)

So maybe I should describe the camp? Basically it's just a camp whereby the aim is to let us experience the way of life of the disabled? haha, kinda different i should say. it's like, it's not that hiong as any SJ camp but yet idk how to explain larh. my TF was also so stone and zomg, he claims he's 15?!? but seriously, he looks 17 for god's sake larh -.-

the most memorable activity: going around singapore (okay, maybe only the North part of singapore) blind. in a very uhh, unglam way too. oops, i really hope no one saw me as it really looks kinda weird. walking around Singapore with a kiddy purple (! the only saving grace? :O) sunglass and bandaged eyes? but yeah, it's super scary too and i practically needed my dear team member, Amirul to guide me around (many thanks to him as i would have probably died that day if not for him) although he did leave me alone sometimes as yeah larh, it's hard getting used to guiding a person around all the time :X

D: but i did experience the kind of helplessness and fear of being blind. no doubts that it was scaryyyy. i was scared of falling into longkangs. scared of falling down the stairs (esp when going down the bus! :X). scared of going on the escalator. scared of touching the wrong places if i reach out (hey! I’m not horny okay? Coz it’s so true. If you reach out too high and it’s a woman, oops. And if you reach out low enough and it’s a man, double oops :X :X). basically, it’s that frightening.

however, i really did learn how to use my other senses more! i could figure out when i was walking towards macs, old chang kee, bread talk and even the toilet -.- LOL, and when on a bus, i could figure out which direction the bus is turning! haha, i know sounds o.o but i have never noticed all this stuff before. so one achievement for me yay. so that's all. PENAT. :(

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yes, sometimes, just spare a thought for others pls. credits: leilockheart.net